The Creepy Board
by Chunk127
Summary: One shots, ficlets, a place for some one shots that might turn into full stories at a much later date. Name tags only reflect the latest chapter.
1. Prologue

You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location near sanity but not quite. The kind of place where there might be a monster like Doomsday, an awkward paring that makes you say WTF, or some kind of weird combination of Glory and Freddy Kruger haunting your dreams. These are just examples; it could also be something much better or worse then one of those God Xander smites inferior Buffy fics. Prepare to enter: The Creepy Board.

Welcome one and all to... well just general ideas, ones that could be prologues, ficlets and general oneshots all the same.

* * *

**Chapter 1: ****_Sparks_** Alicia leaves Clark in Vegas but he travels to LA then back to Vegas causing a much greater problem.

**Chapter 2: Now Where's that Flying Pig? **Clark disappeared after Lana married Lex. Now a year later Chloe's found him with Lana and Oliver has found him in bed with a pair of twin girls.

**Chapter 3: La Fille Terribles** Buffy learns some bizarre news after the fall of Sunnydale thanks to Willow.

**Chapter 4: Why Did They Do That? **An alternate ending to a certain part of the comics continuation that just confuses me.

**Chapter 5: Running From Nightmares **Lex is put in charge of Belle Reeve. He comes to a starling discovery when he's reviewing applicants for a new psychiatrist position.

**Chapter 6: Not the Bradys **Dawn meets a boy on Halloween she can open up to. Though even she's thrown through a loop once his brother shows up.

* * *

Author's Notes

Yes, I am a fan of Futurama

I wanted to organize some of my stories and this seemed like a good idea for the random and crazy ones given most are either Buffy or Smallville related.

Buffy is owned by Joss Whedon

Smallville is owned by the WB


	2. Sparks

Clark looked over at the table trying to figure out how he got here. One moment they were up in the loft. Then Alicia slipped a red k necklace on him. Then there was Vegas. He looked over at his oh man… his wife at least until they get the annulment. As if last night wasn't bad enough there was another thing he never saw coming… the girl standing aside from him right now in the courtroom… it's not Alicia. She chickened out so he decided to head out to LA and a whole new nightmare came up.

* * *

The judge came into the courtroom and its days like this he really hates Vegas. He looks over and sees a teenage guy and a beautiful woman on the other side. He doesn't think the woman has ever been in chambers before she's dressed in a black shirt clinging to her body's natural curves. With a V shape cut giving a view that would leave most men drooling over along with red leather pants. "Sorry about being late the neighborhood is still recovering from the blackout last night, Mr. and Mrs. Kent why are the two of you here today instead of a honeymoon?"

Clark looked away he imagines his face probably looks as red as his wife's jeans. He's pretty sure they caused the blackout or at least she did.

"My husband had a hissy fit this morning when I broke his necklace." The newest Mrs. Kent replied. She never thought she'd have last night and this morning. Until one broken piece of jewelry ruined everything. That ugly red thing could not have meant that much to him. To top it off the only thing broken was the metal the rubies were fine, fake... but fine. She's fighting for this, last night was her deepest wish come true, and since he said that stupid thing just lowered his inhibitions he still wants her on some level.

The judge simply held his head. He can already tell this brunette woman is going to be a handful. He looked to her husband. "Mr. Kent?"

Clark held up papers he spent the morning filling out. "Just trying to get an annulment your honor." He handed the form to the judge.

The Judge read it and everything seemed to be in order. "Mrs. Kent, do you have anything to say?"

Mrs. Kent let out a smile the Clark knew wasn't good from last night. What was about to follow wouldn't be pretty. "Well since we're in a proper setting and my husband is from Kansas I'll say we rolled in the hay three times last night and once this morning. I could barely walk here."

Clark's face turned a deep shade of red and the judge had an innocent laugh. "Sorry Mr. Kent but once the marriage has been consummated you can only end it in divorce."

Clark stared at the girl who could only smile. "I can name millions of reasons why that won't happen."

Clark's wife stared at him. Like she can't get it if she wants to. "It's not about the money."

"What money?" The Judge asked.

The brunette looked at the judge and back to her husband. "I liked you better when you were high."

"Mrs. Kent?" The judge responded. "Answer the question"

"Mrs. Raiden-Kent" The former Gwen Raiden conceded. Last night was perfect to her she found a guy she was able to touch without deep charring him. "We went to the casino and we won a good amount of money."

"How much?" The Judge asked.

Gwen looked at Clark whom just nodded. "One hundred and twenty million dollars. We were big winners."

Clark silently nodded and that one was 'freak luck' too. Kal and Gwen stole some sort of seeing thing and sold it for thirty million after some guy with a thirty four pound forehead gave it to him. Kal watched as the metal ball landed in the green and three million dollars times thirty four.

The judge looked at the couple dumb struck. "How the hell did you two win over a hundred million dollars?"

"Well first we lost a few million then the roulette wheel went off on green and paid thirty four to one on three million." Gwen answered. "Then we had too much to drink, got married by Elvis, and consummated the marriage four times. And now we're here."

The judge glared at the two. The newest Mr. & Mrs. Booze Story. "You know people like you two make me sick."

"HEY!" Clark and Gwen protested.

The judge looked at the two and smiled. Gwen from her work she knew that was a sadistic smile if there ever was one. This isn't going to end well. "Listen carefully Mr. and Mrs. Kent. Whether the two of you like it or not, you each made vows to each other. Now, I've been married for thirty years to the same wonderful, infuriating woman in the same chapel as the two of you none the less. And granted there are days when I want to light her on fire." Clark awkwardly looked away. "But I don't, because I love her. And that would be illegal. And you know something, and I might be old fashioned but when I said those vows, I meant them. And judging from how coherent your signatures are the two of you did too."

Gwen had a smile on her face that might have to be surgically removed at a later date. "I take it we're not getting an annulment."

The judge shook his head. "No, Mrs. Kent I'm not. I'm also putting a freeze on the one hundred and twenty million."

And just like that Gwen's smile was gone. "WHY!"

The judge looked at them as Clark stood next to Gwen and grabbed her by the arm before she singed the judge. "Abuse of power, I guess but the fact that you were married tonight and tried to annul it today shows no line of ownership whose money went into the winning hand."

Neither Gwen or Clark could answer.

"The two of you can collect the whole fund in six months granted you see marriage counseling throughout it and try to make it work. Court is adjourned."

* * *

"Remind me as to why I'm not frying him until he twitches." Gwen asked as she started pacing the floor.

Clark looked at her his eyes almost cold looking at her. "Well for starters, I'll stop you." He went back to normal. "Also he might start asking his own questions, like where did the original millions we had come from."

Gwen nodded and realized that would be bad. "Good point, so, your place or mine."

Clark looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Still not giving up are you?"

Gwen shook her head. "No"

Clark let out a smile. "Well first thing I gotta do is tell my parents…" He has a crooked smile and lets out what he hopes is a joke. "You can actually restart hearts right."

Gwen smiled see there's the guy she met last night. "Yeah, we can even share stories about how we got scars on the plane to Kansas." Gwen took off the glove and smiled seeing Clark take her open hand and not even whimper in pain." She's not foolish; she knows they are as far from their types as they can get with that ruby destroyed which she will be asking about. But there were sparks between them and not just a lame pun from her. And sometimes a spark can make something great.

* * *

Author notes

Thanks for reading

Angel is owned by Joss Whedon

Like most all my stories dealing with Law in fanfics, Law has been beaten, bloodied, and ditched in the corner.


	3. Now Where's That Flying Pig?

A/N OOC likely

* * *

Chloe sat back in disbelief at the sight she's seeing but she should really be happy. She's in a beautiful dress in the Isis foundation at the engagement she knew was all but fated. After all that these two have been put through over the years… if anyone deserves happiness it should be Clark Kent and Lana Lang. After Lana married Lex last year Clark sort of took a sabbatical on life. A day away to let him vent however, he wasn't gone a day, he was out of contact for over a year. She should be happy to just have her best friend back but she's not. She can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.

Lana divorced and broke up with Lex after finding out her 'baby' was never even real. At least one good thing came from Lex experimenting on her mother two if you count her shooting with a gas bomb. Shortly after that Lex died when a maniac finally buried him underground in an explosion. Lana left Smallville under a cloud of mystery and came back last fall. Clark himself came back right before Christmas. The two immediately picked up where they had wanted to and were engaged by New Year's. Clark had told her his secret just like in the day that never was. Her two best friends are getting married, she should be happy. So why isn't she?

* * *

Chloe looked down at her phone and saw it was a text from Oliver. Chloe opened her phone and saw the text. (I found boyscout!) She rolled her eyes and responded.

(So did I, I'm at his engagement party.) CS

(He can't be at anyone's engagement party. He's in Italy.) OQ

(I'm looking right at him. He has his tongue down Lana's throat.) CS

(Chloe I'd swear in my parent's graves that it was Clark that went into the building.) OQ

(Well, we both can't be right!) CS

(Do you want me to take a look in his room?) OQ

Chloe thought it over and this was just weird to her. Maybe he used black K and split himself in half. Or maybe this isn't Clark...somehow. He acts a lot less guilty. (Take a quiet look around don't tell him you're there.)

* * *

Oliver read the final message and closed his phone looking up at Clark's room he went into two hours ago. As far as mortal eyes could tell he hadn't left yet. Of course with how Clark moves he can be halfway to Timbuktu and literally be anywhere else in the world. Ollie was just thankful he found him on patrol as he shot an arrow with a rope attached to the floor above Clark's room. The arrow worked as a lift pulling him up to Clark's floor as he climbed in through the open window.

Oliver looked around the room but couldn't find anything that could confirm or deny the person that came in here was Clark. He went into the bedroom and quickly saw all he needed to see and very easily realized this isn't Clark. He pulled out his phone and texted. (It's not him.)

(How can you know?) CS

Oliver looked up and saw the source of how he knew. Clark sound asleep in bed with a girl on each side of him. (Well for starters it looks like he just had a three way.)

(Liar) CS

Oliver rolled his eyes and chose the much more blunt method of taking a picture and sending it to Chloe.

Chloe's eyes rose at the engagement party. (OK, definitely out of character, but not by much, see if there's a red meteor rock nearby.)

Oliver looked at the girls. Twin brown hair brown eyed beauties from what he could tell. (No rocks, also they're twins when would Clark do something like this? Me sure, but not him.)

(I don't need to know this damn it, now just get out of there) CS

Oliver smiled as he walked away from the apartment only to stop when he hears something crunch.

Unseen to him one of the twins in Clark's bed eyes shoot wide open.

* * *

Oliver walked to the door and to his surprise saw one of Clark's girlfriends cutting him off. How the hell did she do that?

The girl tilted her neck and looked at him. "Who are you?" The girl waited but there was no answer. "Answer me or I will kill you."

Oliver wasted no time and fired an arrow at the girl's arm only for her to effortlessly catch it and snap the arrow with her thumb. "Huh."

Oliver went for the window but to his surprise the girl was standing next to him. "Oh hell!"

The girl wrapped one hand around his neck and easily lifted him into the air as if he was a a mere child. "I know what you are now. You are a voyeur, a disgusting slime, your body warmed for us so you sneaked into see me at an intimate moment. Watch me with another." The girls hair changed to add dark blue streaks as did her eyes but they were almost like a crystal as a t-shirt and panties became leather and surrounded her body. "I'll make trophies of your eyes."

The leather girl went to punch him but she found her fist caught by Clark in a pair of jeans.

"It's OK Illyria, he's an old friend." Clark replied.

Illyria looked at Oliver and released him. "Gods shouldn't have friends."

Clark rolled his eyes as he put on a shirt. "OK apparently the first ninety... nine times didn't strike a cord so let's try for a hundred. I'M NOT A GOD!"

Illyria shook her head. "Maybe if you'd accept that you are you could fly like the rest of your people?"

Clark simply rubbed the temple of his head. "Anything else?"

Illyria looked at him. "We destroyed another bed."

Oliver smiled seeing Clark face palm there's no doubt now this is Clark.

The three looked as the door opened and out came the other twin came out dressed in a shirt and jeans. "Clark, Illyria, what's going on?"

Clark shook his head in disbelief. Hits just keep coming. "An old friend snuck in. Fred, you remember how I mentioned Oliver Queen."

Fred nodded. "Yeah, but I didn't think he'd walk around in little green tights. I'll never understand the rich."

Oliver looked at her. "Well that's OK; I never would have thought Clark would have it in him to sleep with a pair of twins."

Fred glared at him. "She is not my sister! She's… she was like a… really... bad... flu."

Oliver looked to Clark and just laughed at the insanity only Clark.. "You got something to say here. Because I think this is the last time I can call you boyscout." Even with the bruises on his throat this might be the best day of his life in quite some time.

Clark looked at him and just tried to think of something to defend himself with. Neither he, Angel, Spike, Wes... none of them knew Fred's soul was still in there. Ends up energy can't be destroyed not even in the fires of resurrection. "They were the same girl when we started dating. We're still trying to figure this out." Oliver couldn't help but laugh. "And on a more serious note. What are you doing here Oliver?"

"I came to find you boyscout. Also Chloe claims that you're in Smallville too want to explain that one?" Oliver asked.

Clark groaned. "The last phantom he survived that fight in the alley."

Illyria nearly let out a growl. "I'll finish what I started with his skull!"

The three watched as the apartment started to shake violently as the TV and shelves fell. Oliver looked concerned but the other three just gave a shrug of acceptance.

"What is that, an earthquake?" Oliver asked.

Fred rolled her eyes in disbelief. "It didn't take them long to find us again did they?"

Oliver watched the tiny Texan went to the closet and came back with a gun almost as big as she is and carried it with relative ease. "How the hell is she carrying that thing?"

"The Burkle retained a bit of my grace when Kal separated us." Illyria answered. "The army of the Wolf Ram and Hart is at our door."

"Army?" Oliver wondered.

Clark looked at him. "Last year we pissed off three very powerful demons, two of our friends are dead."Oliver watched Fred just look at the floor in sadness as Clark continued. "Two of them are missing but given how important they are to them we doubt they're dead and we are currently trying to find them. The three of us have been looking out for each other and doing good ever since but it usually only takes them a few weeks to find us again. Why do you think I never came home?"

Oliver smirked. "Knew it was your martyr complex." Oliver watched as something with mangy teeth ripped off a chunk of the door and Fred's gun fired a red burst of energy that pulverized his head on impact.

Illyria stood ready with a sword and axe looking out the window. "They have a giant with them. "Kal" Illyria made a motion with her hand creating a portal without the Burkle's soul tampering her vessel her old powers have started to return.

Clark leaped into the portal and started falling from four hundred feet above his room. He watched as he got closer to the giants as his eyes turned red. As he burned a hole right down the middle of the Giant cutting him in half along with a good portion of the army, inches from the floor another portal opened and Clark went through it and landed back in his room feet first."

Fred took out another three with her gun. "They're going to break through that door."

Clark shrugged. "Let them, Clark grabbed Illyria and Ollie while Fred climbed on his back. It took Ollie a moment to realize Clark used Superspeed to take them to the alley as he burned down his room with heat vision. "Oliver, get out of here."

Oliver stood there open mouthed. Clark just killed things, admittedly demons but still living things. "I'm not going anywhere boyscout. If we make it through this you have a lot of explaining to do."

"If we make it through the night." Clark agreed. "I hope you have a full quiver."

Illyria smiled clinching her weapons that much tighter seeing an entire army of demons charging at them. "I'm going to have a lot of spines after tonight."

Oliver ignored her as he readied an arrow as Clark's eyes lit up in fire.

Fred looked at the incoming swarm and the nervous Oliver, poor green man, for them this is Tuesday. "Here we go again."

* * *

Author's Notes

Angel is owned by Joss Whedon

Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter.

I have a Buffy one shot but I want to finish one of my stories before publishing it.


	4. La Fille Terribles

A/N Buffy is a year ahead putting the vents of Chosen in 2005

* * *

Buffy leaned back listening carefully to the words said leaning on Xander for emotional support. She's stuck wondering why of all times, this crap had to happen now. She just lost Spike, Xander just lost Anya, Faith might just broke up with Wood… because apparently they were a thing. She can't deal with this crap right now. It's only been a month since Sunnydale and all she did was donate blood for the badly wounded slayers. Willow put her blood on file in case she ever needed a transfusion and her database program dug up some rather disturbing news about her lineage. Why is she being punished with this bombshell? "So let me get this straight Will? You're telling me that my family… isn't my family."

"Dawn's still your sister." Willow offered.

Buffy just glared at her. The slayer's own voice raised in anger. "Dawn's obviously my sister! I would have just made a nice splat when I jumped! My question is who the hell are my parents?!"

Willow gave a shrug in fear, it's one thing to find out your parents aren't your parents, it's another thing to find out your biological parents are monsters… not the icky kind they usually fight, but still monsters. "I honestly don't think you want to know?"

"You're right… I don't." Buffy answered honestly. Hank wasn't the best but before he followed the cliché he was a good father and did what he could for her. Since her mother taped her birth, which for the record was gross it means surrogacy. "But things like this tend to bite us in the ass, so it's more like I need to know."

Willow nodded. "I know that's why I went through everything. Your parents first came up as John and Jane Doe."

Xander rose his sole remaining eye and chuckled. "Call it a hunch Will, but I don't think that's they're the actual names."

Willow nodded in agreement. "I know that's why I did some crazy level hacking to the point where I had to throw some magic in just to break those firewalls. I tell you those new programs are nuts and insane to get…"

"Willow!" Buffy shouted pulling her out of her rant.

Willow looked at her. "Oh right, sorry, well after a week I made it through and well I didn't find actual names, but I did find them."

Buffy looked at her confused. "Well then some explainy please; who are my parents?"

Willow wondered if Buffy would even know the relevance of this. She didn't until she googled them. "Buffy, your mother was The Boss and your father was Big Boss."

Xander's eye widened in shock it would explain how Buffy is so badass even for a slayer, but it's not possible. "Will, as much as this would explain how Buffy does the things she does, the Boss died, in like the sixties."

Willow looked at him. "How did you know that?"

Xander looked at her and shrugged. "I was a soldier for Halloween. Those two are like the Zeus and Hera of soldiers everyone knew them. Well… until the Boss defected anyway."

"How'd she die?" Buffy asked as Xander looked away. "And don't get a jelly belly on me now."

Xander looked at her. "Big Boss killed her. But some people just believe she got caught in the blast. That no one was ever good enough to take her down."

Buffy rolled her eyes and laid back against the wall for support. Just when he though her life couldn't get anymore screwed up. "Great! Dad killed mom, you know anything else about them?"

"Big Boss was lit on fire so he's dead too. That was actually around the time we graduated." Xander replied.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "So those two are dead… so how did they have a kid if she's been dead for forty years now?"

Willow looked at her. "Well right before the boss defected they took everything they could from her. Blood, bone marrow, brain tissue you name it they got it."

Buffy nodded she's Frankenstein's monster she's got it. "So how did they get me in Joyce?"

"Your doctor, she was part of a group that idolized Big Boss. Don't know what they're called though, they have really good firewalls. She impanted the embryo, and nine months later you were born."

Buffy let out an empty hollow laugh of disbelief. "I'm sorry it's just I knew Dr. Clark until I was fourteen. I mean we talked about Star Wars and boys; she was… kind of a dork. Like an older Andrew with girl parts… though considering Andrew I should probably give her a call now."

Xander and Willow just watched as Buffy picked up the phone neither would leave her now, unless she asked them to.

* * *

Xander and Willow waited as Buffy hung up the phone.

"Did she say anything?" Willow asked.

Buffy shook her head. "No, that was some temporary replacement for a Dr. Naomi Hunter. Apparently, Dr. Clark has been dead for a while now."

Willow looked at her. "Is there anything I can do?"

Buffy looked at her. "Do you know if me and Dawn have any siblings?"

Willow nodded. "Three and all together they are a pain in my ass to even crack let alone find. I think I would have brought down all technology if it wasn't for Kennedy's belly rubs and metal tongue... can I take that last part back."

Xander shook his head and pointed to it. "Sorry Will, it's in here now."

"Any names or addresses?" Buffy asked.

"Just one." Willow answered. "His name is David and he lives in Alaska."

Buffy smiled out of morbid curiosity. "Think I'd like to meet him."

Xander weakly nodded. "I'll have Giles arrange the trip."

* * *

Three days later those were words Buffy came to regret. Here she was in Alaska and her, Dawn, Xander, and Willow found her brother. Apparently Xander moved like a soldier which caused David to choke him out when he saw just one eye and an eye patch looking at him in the bushes. Naturally attacking one of Buffy's friends brought out all of Buffy's rage over this course of events. And although David fought bravely even the legendary soldier Solid Snake was no match for a slayer on a rampage. Eventually the two swapped tales of their lives while Willow patched Snake up.

Snake took it all in smoking a cigarette, he figured the enhanced strength was some second generation Gray Fox until she explained about slayers when he asked why is she so strong? "So a vampire slayer huh?"

"You betcha." Buffy replied. "Seven years and running"

Snake nodded and leaned back, it's not like he hasn't lived through crazier things. He guesses it's a good thing there's a white sheep in the family for all the crap they did. He turned and looked at Xander. "Sorry about the throat."

"It's fine." Xander said rubbing his throat gently. "Deadboy would have left me for dead out in the snow."

Buffy looked at her brother he's cynical but seems like a decent guy. "You're really not disturbed about how I came to be are you? I mean someone just went 'Hey let's screw with the family and make a baby girl."

Snake looked at her. Big Boss gave him the rundown on him and a supposed 'brother' when he was in FOXHOUND that ended up being real. The only thing he didn't mention was her and that's because she could have been born a lot later outside of Big Boss' knowledge… Or Big Boss just never told him about her before he set him on fire. "You're not that familiar with the family tree are you?"

* * *

Author Notes

Thanks for the reviews of the last chapter

Metal Gear Solid is owned by Hideo Kojima


	5. Why Did They Do That?

A/N A quick little ficlet for something about season 11 that bugs the crap out of me and was the first step to killing my interest in it. So obvious season 11 Spoilers ahead **BIG** spoilers ahead

* * *

Clark came home feeling particularly hollow. He's not sure if he might count this as a win or loss, either way tonight was horrible. Sure, they stopped the age sucking but not without a price. The explosion also set Clark free from Lex's game but he never wanted this to be the price. Bart is gone taking the Dark Flash with him. Why couldn't it just be some maniac in yellow and red, like the phantom to Clark?

He opened the door and heard Lois on the phone with Emil.

"So you can do that?" Lois asked with a smile. "That's great. Thanks Emil."

"What's great?" Clark asked.

Lois almost dropped the phone but turned in a smile to see Clark, Clark Kent in his suit and glasses. "Clark!"

Lois ran up and hugged him with a smile. "Welcome back."

Clark just kissed her for a long while wanting to do that for weeks now. "It's good to be back and out of the suit."

"Oh yeah, put the suit back on." Lois ordered to Clark's confusion.

* * *

Clark was fully dressed as Superman as he listened to Lois not really believing what he's hearing. "I can't believe it."

"Well, you know the Luthors; if there's a line to anything they'll cross it." Lois replied.

Clark looked at Lois and smiled having his own idea. That doesn't involve making Skynet. "I like your idea, but how about we just do this."

* * *

Oliver looked at Lois and Clark. "Are you two serious?"

Lois looked at him kind of shocked. "Ollie I couldn't make this up on my best day. If I could, I'd be a science fiction writer not a journalist."

Oliver turned to his room and saw Chloe sleeping. "Guys, I really want to be a part of this, but if Lex sees me, he'll go right for Chloe, and I can't let that happen."

"We don't need him to see you; we just need you to shoot him." Lois offered.

"I'm in." Oliver replied. He probably would have done it anyway because he'd want to, and Chloe would give him hell for not helping with this.

* * *

Lex threw his phone across the room in fury trying to schedule another appointment with the memory device; he knows when to get to the door in time. Lex comes to a stop and looked around his room. He doesn't know how but he feels like something is wrong, it's like how he feels that Superman is evil. He turns and speaking of Superman he finds the man of steel behind him. Lex looked at the alien but remained stoic not giving an inch. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I thought you'd like to know the radiation doesn't work on me anymore." Superman replied greeting him.

Lex quickly took out his tablet and saw he wasn't lying. "So, it seems." He looked at super hero. "Is there an actual good reason for you to darken my door at this hour?"

Clark glared at what was once his best friend but as they both said a couple weeks back, they're different people now. "When Apokalips was falling to earth, you took something from us, something precious."

"In case you haven't read a newspaper recently, with the exception of the past six months, the thirty plus years of my life before that are a blur to me." Lex replied.

Clark looked at him, lies better then ever. "I know, but now you do to, you know what you have and we're here to take her back."

Lex's eyes could only widen as an arrow was shot into his back as he shouted in pain. That wasn't an ordinary bullet. He shouted in pain when to his surprise he could feel something rising up inside of him as he's pulled in two. He sees his own sister rise up from inside him and shout.

"Superman!"

Clark quickly took her arm and pulled her free.

Tess looked at herself and blushed as she tried to cover herself with both hands to her breasts.

Clark looked away. "Tess, you're not wearing any pants either."

Tess quickly replaced one hand with her arm and lowered the other one. "What the hell! Davis had pants on when we collected his body!"

Clark took a moment and looked away. He hopes Lois will believes that was insanity as he drapes his cape over her giving her some level of clothing. He doesn't think they'll ever understand how black kryptonite works sometimes clothes, sometimes shirtless, no naked. But a little embarrassment is much better then turning her into an AI like Lois wanted.

"Welcome back" Clark said with a smile.

Tess smiled and hugged him. "It's good to be back."

"Hey, hey, no hugging until Clark and Tess are in pants and or a skirt respectively." A voice shot over Clark's earpiece.

"Lois says hi."

Tess broke the hug and pulled the arrow out of her brother's shoulder to examine it. "Black kryptonite?" She watched Lex open his eyes and punched him in the face knocking him out cold.

Clark simply nodded. "Best way to separate conflicting minds in one body." Clark lifted her up and looked in her beautiful green eyes. "So are you ready to go."

Tess smiled not believing her friends came for her. "Take me home."

The two disappeared in a blur.

* * *

Author notes

Thanks for the reviews for last chapter

This was going to be a Clark/Tess full story but I cut it short.

I can't understand why they turned Tess into an AI. They went through all that work to turn her into a super computer and rob her of a body when everyone but Lois knew what Black kryptonite does. I'm assuming Clark was so upset about Bart he just didn't remember Black K or I missed something.


	6. Running From Nightmares

Smallville: AU Season 5 (Also 4, 3)

NOES: AU 5th Movie

* * *

Lex leaned back in his chair ready for another day of rebuilding with a glass of whiskey in hand. It's been a year since he was given control of Lexcorp, formerly Luthorcorp. And for most of the year it has been spent trying to clean up dearly departed dad's mess. He always knew Lionel was a bastard, but not even he thought the elder Luthor would stoop as low as he did. He almost didn't get Luthorcorp thanks to Lionel hiring a metallic hit man that came within an inch of killing Chloe. If Sam hadn't requested a Luthorcorp security escort for Lois... he'd rather not think about it.

Then Lionel topped it off with a sickening encore by trying to kill him. He's still not sure how the hell he was able to use the dark stone like that. He's just glad his girlfriend was able to tell the differences from one little kiss. From there she met with him even in Lionel's body and the two set a trap for one last meeting to switch their bodies back, this was after he used what his marine friend taught him and snapped a murderer's neck framing his father for the self defense murder. Lionel was left in solitary until he died a miserable death from his liver disease.

Lex looked over a file and he supposes he shouldn't be surprised Lionel brought the place the day after he dumped his only son there. He looks inside the folder and sees a multitude of folders inside. Job applications, he never would have thought this would be a field of interest to so many.

"Hard at work as usual?" An all too familiar female voice asked.

Lex let out a smile seeing the woman he loves enter the room. He looks up and sees her with a smile. Paris did Lana a world of good and made her far stronger then the pink princess she used to be, a simple pair of jeans and a black top showing the tattoo on her back, everyday he wonders what he did to be with a girl like her… even if she doesn't have complete control of her body from time to time… and led to an unlikely team up of him, Pete, and Jason to save her, Chloe, and Lois. "Just sorting through another of dear old dad's messes."

Lana took a seat on Lex's lap and looked at the file. "Belle Reeve, not exactly a good place to do some good. A lot of people there would want you hurt because of that meteor freak SWAT team you set up."

Lex nodded knowingly. When Clark left Smallville crime escalated beyond insanity. And he certainly didn't appreciate being shot in the head by Van McNaulty. Though he would have liked to know what that cocktail was Lionel had Dr. Teng inject him with to save his life. While it proved ineffective against the liver disease it could do wonders for gun and knife wounds. "Luthorcorp has owned Belle Reeve since I was committed what better way to have Lionel keep track of me?"

Lana could only shake her head in disgust, she knew Lionel was sick, I mean who hits on their son's girlfriend; even if it was because he just got out of jail Lionel freaking Luthor couldn't afford a hooker? "Which means you're stuck with it?" Her look of disgust turns into a smile. "And trying to do some good with it. What's with the files?"

Lex looked at each of them. "They're all psychiatrists."

Lana raised her eyes. They started dating when she got back from Paris and she has been in the loop of Lex's life since. She tried with Jason, she did, and he's not giving up according to him. But she missed Lex, she chose him. "Didn't you hire them on Monday?"

Lex nodded he got rid of the old administration after they deep fried his brain to try to get rid of the knowledge of what happened to his grandparents. "I'm trying something new the psychiatrists here specialize in dreams."

Lana raised her eyes she's all for new age medicine but… "You think that will do anything?"

"They say dreams are the windows of the soul-take a peek and you can see the inner workings, all the nuts and bolts." Lex countered.

Lana groaned she should have known this was coming. "And what conqueror said that?"

"Henry Brommel… from the TV show Northern Exposure." Lex replied knowing it would cause the girl to smile. "Also it will be good PR to show the people of Smallville that I'm doing everything I can for the meteor infected."

Lana nodded getting the complete picture. "Every little thing helps so which one are you going to hire?"

Lex skimmed through the pictures of the applicants mainly because you can tell a lot through the eyes of a person; he came to a stop when a particular set of blue eyes caught his interest. "I think I found our winner."

Lana looked at him and took the folder from him. "I think you should look a little deeper then just one picture." She looked at the folder and grew kind of concerned. "Like this piece of information, according to this she came very close to two mental breakdowns; one near the end of her junior year, and another attack shortly after her high school graduation. A couple called her boarder line insane and tried to fight for custody of her unborn baby."

Lex looked over her chart. She didn't fill this stuff in of course this is what his own grade of background checks found. "First one was triggered because her best friend burned to death because she fell asleep with a lit cigarette on the bed, shortly afterwards her brother had a fatal heart attack on a toilet seat?" OK the toilet thing was just weird to him. "Second time her then boyfriend fell asleep at the wheel. So you think she can't do her job because of a couple rough experiences. Then you shouldn't be allowed 50 feet near anywhere in Smallville."

Lana shook her head and took the chart back She meant her age she's only twenty three. "No, that's not what I meant at all. If you think she can do the job, go for it. It's just…Clark?"

Lex looked at her now just confused. No one has heard from Clark since that explosion at his farm over two years now. After what Helen did he was just thankful search and rescue found him in time to save the farm. "That's a blast from the past."

Lana looked at the file. "I'm not feeling particularly nostalgic; look at her college graduation photo."

Lex squinted his eyes but didn't see anything. "I don't see anything."

Lana took a magnifying glass and held it to the paper. "You're not looking hard enough."

Lex looked at the picture and sees behind them a middle aged man with a blond teenage girl looking on and next to them was a little boy being held by someone whom looks very much like Clark. "You really think it's him?"

Lana nodded. "I'd recognize those baby blues from anywhere. So what do we do?"

Lex looked at her. "Excited to have him back already."

Lana simply hit her boy boyfriend with a gentle smack to his side. "I haven't felt that way about Clark for years now. It's just when he left he asked me to come with him. I feel like if I had maybe I could have gotten him to come back. Could have sworn I even saw him at your not funeral."

Lex gently took her hand. "Lana, Clark lost a sibling that day, speaking from experience it's something that will eat at you. Add to that Mr. Kent doing something he deeply regrets which I still haven't found out and I doubt I ever will, I can honestly say there was probably nothing you could say that would get him to come home."

Lana nodded, she's heard that before but she's not sure if she believes it. "I know so, what will you do if she says no?"

"Sweeten the pot, offer her dad a job at Lexcorp." Lex replied, he's always a couple moves ahead.

"And if she doesn't want to leave Ohio?" Lana asked which could be a concern. Who'd leave a peaceful small town for the small town of Smallville of all places?

Lex shrugged. "Then we'll go out and meet her." It can't be any worse then when he and Jason were tortured by the military until Jason's parents stepped in. That was a waste of a trip to China. He's just thankful he kept Lana in the dark about it. No need to risk Isobel reemerging.

* * *

Clark lay back on the beach, now this was paradise. No one here has even remarked about the giant scar tissue diamond on his chest. "I could get used to this."

"I had to do something nice, I pulled you in again." A blue eyed red head in a black two piece bikini replied laying down next to him.

Clark smiled. "You washed the blond dye out of your hair, which was enough for me. I'm not hard to please."

The girl nodded and looked up. "That was for me I missed my brownish red roots and thought interviews would go better. You mind putting lotion on me; I don't want to get burned."

Clark looked at her with everything she's told him. "Is that an actual possibility?"

The redhead raised her eyes. "You really think this about protecting my skin from the sun?"

Clark moved in a blur and grabbed the lotion from the other side of the beach and blurred back leaving fifty people slack jawed with what they just saw. He looked down and smiled seeing the black two piece bikini. He never would have thought his life would get better again if he took that ring off. He gently rubbed the lotion on her soft skin, arms and legs hearing gentle moans and a couple 'oh yeah's' and 'that's the spot' escape her lips.

The redhead smiled and for once life is good as she pulls Clark down to her. "Come here."

The two kiss deeply as the whole world seems to just disappear to them. She straddled him but never broke the kiss except for moments where had to breath as she felt Clark's hands working their way over her back as one hand grabbed her butt pulling her closer before going up as he worked on the soft fabric of her top as it came off…

* * *

Clark and the same redhead's eyes shot up awake in bed from the result of a blond haired four year old boy slamming into them. Clark grabbed the boy and hopped out of bed with the boy in his arms upside down showing he's wearing a pair of pajamas. He was expected hence the dream date. "Jake, there's gotta be a less painful way of waking us up in the morning."

Jake just shook his head. "It's more fun this way."

The redhead laughed seeing her son with Clark. "Jacob Daniel, what are you doing up so early?"

Jake smiled looking at his mom upside down. "Clark and me are going to make you a surprise breakfast in bed for your birth…" The boy saw the look on Clark's face as he realized what he said. "Oops."

Clark looked at the redhead. "It's going to be a real nice breakfast… act surprised."

The redhead simply smiled seeing two of the three men in her life she loved. "I'm sure I'll love it."

Jake looked up at Clark. "I'm sorry I ruined breakfast."

Clark shook his head. "You didn't ruin anything buddy, your mom sounds excited for it. Besides, now we can surprise her by pouring hot sauce into the pancake mix, get your mom, your grandpa, and Lindsey all at the same time."

The redhead's eyes rose up. "You know I'm still laying right here? You guys do see me right?"

Clark smiled and put him down Jake took his hand and pulled him out. "Good point, come on buddy let's get to work before any more of our secrets get out."

The redhead smiled in disbelief but odds are if they even do it, they'll just do it to Lindsey. She smiled watching Jake go he doesn't even notice the scar on Clark's chest anymore and just thought it was neat when he first saw it. He reacted better to it then she did. She saw her phone and saw a new voice message as she grabbed it and hit the listen button.

"Ms. Johnson this is Dr. Simms at the Westin Hills Psychiatric Hospital. While we were enthusiastic about your work we regret to inform you that the hospital has no interest in a dream psychiatrist after a Ms. Nancy Thompson…"

The redhead quickly hit the end button frustrated as she just lay back down in bed. Nancy did more good then Simms will ever know according to Kristen. She did her job and graduated college, which was a lot easier when Clark came along he loves Jake and that made her going to college and get a degree much easier then before while he worked and watched him during the day with her father. However all the degree is since graduation is a paperweight. it seems no one has any interest in the major she took.

* * *

She came downstairs and into the kitchen of her apartment in Ohio. Clark took one look at her face before realizing it. "Another rejection huh?"

She nodded. "It will go great with the other fifty."

Clark pulled her in and gently kissed her on the forehead. "You'll find a job Alice, any patient will be lucky to have you."

Alice looked at him. His own father burned that thing into his chest. How is he so optimistic? "Yeah with my colored past almost losing my unborn baby to his father's grandparents."

Clark pointed to the living room. "And is that not your happy and healthy son watching the pink starfish get hit with a coconut?"

Alice looked at him. "Just keep getting rejections. If I didn't know any better I'd say the FDA had approved Hypnocil."

Clark weakly nodded. "Speaking from personal experience some people won't deal with their issues when they can just take a pill." Or a red ring in his case.

"You did...mostly." Alice pointed out even if he had no intention of going home any time soon.

"I got lucky." Clark replied putting breakfast out for her. "I found you."

Alice looks at Clark walks towards Jake and watch Spongebob with him. She likes to think of it as they each got lucky. A little after Jacob was born Yvonne supposedly smacked her head off a diving board and drowned. Now, given Freddy Kruger's taste for theatricality she wasn't going on a three strike rule she took Jacob with her and moved to Metropolis for a few weeks almost immediately just in case, far away from Springwood. A month later her father went out there to bring her home, she shouldn't be alone. She entered the dream world and saw the destroyed red shirt, hat, and four bladed glove. She realized he was right, it was just a tragic accident.

During her time in Metropolis she worked at a diner and met Clark, or the asshole Clark known as Kal. Who quickly knocked the guy that was flirting with her out cold for calling her a self mutilating freak when he saw the cuts on her arms. Honestly they cover a good deal of her body which is what happens when a maniac rips and explodes out of it but needs you alive. She went with Kal at his request to a club while her dad watched Jacob. She flinched only for a moment seeing the S scar. But it was enough for him to send her away for the moment but her dreams had other plans when she started pulling him in at night. But that's a story for another day.

* * *

Alice looked down and saw her cell phone ringing again. "Hello? Oh, oh my god really, um, what can I do for you?" She wanted to hit herself with the phone. Why doesn't he just use a human resources guy like everyone else? "Well. That sounds great where is this at? Oh… um I might need some time… can I call you back?"

Lex smiled having a feeling Clark was in the room. "Sure just call when you're ready Ms. Johnson we'll leave a spot open for you just call with your decision I'm intrigued by your work. Just call back when you've made your choice." He left her his number and then hung up.

Clark looked at her. "More time for what?"

Alice put her hand over the phone. "Job offer, not sure if I'm going to take it."

Clark looked up at her surprised after so many rejections why is she turning one down. "Why not?"

Alice looked up the phone. "Clark, the job is in Smallville."

Clark froze up hearing that. "Oh."

Alice nodded she knows what's going through his head she goes into his dreams sometimes and sees him destroy the ship to the same disastrous result time and time again. She makes a signal with her eyes and Clark follows her out to the kitchen. "So have you called them in the past two years?"

Clark shook his head. "I kept trying to a couple times but once I saw the farm was back in business I didn't see a reason to. They were better off without me. Especially after what I did. So what's this job?"

"Psychiatrist at Belle Reeve." Alice informed him.

Clark nodded well that will be interesting. "Don't tell anyone who you're dating, I got a lot of enemies in there."

Alice looked at him. "You want me to take the job?"

Clark shrugged. "I think you should if you really want it."

"I do." Alice confessed she has a degree it would be nice to put it to use. "But not if you're not coming with me."

Clark frowned he knew she would say that. "I don't know what to say, I've been running from my past for so long now."

Alice simply took him by his hands. "You know my dad was an alcoholic. Five year pin to prove it. He went to the bottle when mom died; he went to a dark place. I often dreamed of standing up to him sometimes even busting a bottle over his head. Then Rick died and he came back, I got my father back. I know you hurt your parents but the people you talk to aren't the people you have that last conversation with they're the same ones your whole life."

Clark thought about her words. It was his fault he used the key, he put his mother in the hospital. The way his father looked at him that day. He collected himself and gently kissed her on her forehead. "You realize this is the like the hundredth time you said that right?"

Alice laughed. "Yes, and if it takes another hundred I'll say it again. Besides I know you have an acceptance letter from Central Kansas you've been trying to hide from me."

Clark looked at her. "I have an acceptance letter at Met. U. too and one for right here."

"Clark" Alice looked at him.

Clark felt his legs give she was winning this one. "I know but what about your dad, and call me cynical but I don't think Lindsey will take too kindly to going back to even visit Smallville after what Jor El did to her."

"I know." Alice assured him. "But I think it will be nice for you to at least get some closure with your parents maybe even have them back in your life."

Clark looked at her trying to form any thoughts. She's right he can't keep running and he knows it. "Hey Jake."

"Yeah?"

"You want to see what a real farm looks like?" Clark asked walking back into the room.

Alice smiled hearing the two talking about what they're going to do from jumping in hay and riding on horses. She just hopes the Kents aren't that bothered but she's been seeing Clark without the ring for two years now, there's a lot to love they raised him right. They have to forgive him; he's their son, right? "Not so fast you two, I still have to explain and talk about things with my dad about my job." She pointed out. "If that's OK with you? You still have to quit your job." She added sarcastically.

Clark looked at her. He got his GED after the red ring came off and Alice graduated. Now that she had her degree she insisted he figure something out for himself. "I'm deeply hurt." Like he could if he wanted to, as for her job. "And it's McDonald's you don't quit you just stop showing up." He joked.

Alice smiled it will probably do her and Jacob a world of good to get away from Springwood.

* * *

A few days later and Alice turned to her father between bites during the big family dinner to tell them that they're moving. "So, Clark and I have something important to say."

Dennis smiled looking at his daughter. He was glad to get his life back on track and especially glad she kept her word since her and Clark have been careful and hadn't had any kids of their own yet. "Me too sweetheart."

Alice smiled happy to hear that. "Then please go right ahead you first."

Dennis smiled he thought life would never get better after the hell his kids teenage years would be. He's never been glad to be so wrong. "Well I was offered a big job today at Lexcorp, one that will help pay off your student debts and make a nice deposit for Jake's."

Alice rolled her eyes and handed twenty dollars to Clark. "You were right; he wouldn't make it easy."

Dennis looked at the two. "Something the matter honey?"

Alice shook her head. "No, but if I had to guess I'm assuming the job is in Smallville."

Dennis nodded his head. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"Because Lex Luthor offered me a job at Belle Reeve in Smallville." Alice replied.

Dennis smiled happy for her she's been trying so hard to get a job. "Are you taking it? I will if you will."

Alice smiled. "Yes dad I'm taking it. It will also give Clark a chance to talk to his parents since he's from there."

Dennis nodded he always wondered about his parents since Clark never brought them up and only told Alice.

There was one person however not so happy with this news. Lindsey looked at the three like they were insane. "Why would you two ever want to go back there?"

Clark looked at her. After losing her mother and being kidnapped by Jor El for over a decade he understands where she's coming from. "It won't be like before, I won't let him. Not you, not Alice, not Jake. Smallville is actually a very nice place to live."

"Promise?" Lindsey asked.

Clark nodded. "I promise. Besides I can probably get you a job at the talon while you finish Smallville High."

Lindsey nodded. She placed junior when Alice set her up with an equivalency test after she and Clark destroyed 'Kara' in her dreams thanks to knocking her out with a meteor rock. She'd probably be in the same grade as Clark if she had known the first thing about a computer. And hadn't answered questions about the 90s and 2000s like it was in Back to the Future II, the last movie she saw before she disappeared thanks to that voice in the cave. "OK, just don't expect me to go near any bright lights again."

Clark smiled at least he won't be the last kryptonian in Smallville this time but the smile quickly faded. Going home means seeing his parents, Chloe, and Pete again. How is he even going to begin to explain to them?

* * *

Author Notes

Thanks for the review last chapter I guess it makes sense for the fans and likely her sanity's sake to just be digital so they don't have Tess walk around in Lex's body. Still you figure they could transfer her conciousness into a clone body with Zatnna Jonn Jones, and the helmet of Nabu on your side, but done wondering

A Nightmare on Elm Street is owned by New Line Cinema. In this AU the series takes place about ten or more years later then it really does because if I'm writing a Nightmare fic one day it will be the real Freddy vs. Superman. Not remake Kruger.


	7. Not the Bradys

Dawn walked through the magic shop in a somewhat joyous mood depending on if she can pull tonight off. She walked over and saw a cute boy sitting down at the table. She sees him in a black silk shirt. "Can we help you?"

"I'm still trying to figure out the last person that said that." The boy replied.

Dawn looked at him. He must have had Anya as help. "Really why?"

The boy looked at her. "I don't think you want to know."

"Try me." Dawn replied.

"Well she came over and talked about being dressed as an angel, and she was talking about playing a game called shiver me timbers later. And when she saw me looking at you she said maybe I should ask if you wanted to play because her boyfriend said it would be really fun to play."

Dawn's cheeks lit up a bright shade of red. "Dear god, I'm killing Anya." She looked to the boy. "Anya is… quirky. No timbers, not now, likely not ever."

"Figured as much. You seem too nice."

Dawn glared at him. "I am not the nice type. I'm even planning on sneaking out with my friend Janice tonight."

"Of course you are." The boy replied.

"I am" Dawn replied.

He nodded. "Oh I'm sure. So what's your name Ms. Sneak Out?"

"Dawn, and you are?"

"Alex"

Dawn looked at him and smiled. "Well Alex, if you don't think I'm the type why don't you join me tonight."

The boy let out a smile. "It's a date."

Dawn smiled she'll call Justin see if they can arrange a girl for Alex she's sure of it.

* * *

Christine looked at Justin and well this honestly couldn't go worse for the two of them. Alex barely looked at her and had his hands all over Dawn to Justin's chagrin.

Justin glared at the new kid putting his jacket on Dawn. You know earlier tonight he was thinking of becoming a sire. Now he can barely think straight outside of killing the kid that's taking Dawn from him.

Christine looked at him with a smile. "Things not going to plan."

Justin shook his head. "Not at the moment."

Christine turned her focus back to the seemingly couple. "Well give it some time. You'll have a spritz of Dawn and I'll have piece of Kansas farmboy."

* * *

Later that night the slayer was moving on the warpath. When she used the old round robin it was an exercise used just to save the world...mostly. Dawn is just being a stupid child with a death wish. She walked with two Englishmen behind her. Her ever faithful watcher Giles and the bleached blond vampire Spike.

Buffy looked at the two. "Will you two hurry up." She can't believe this. "You guys have gotten flabby since I've died."

Spike looked at her. "Well we're not the ones chasing down the Niblet like a maniac." Buffy will likely traumatize Dawn for life if there's no demons tonight.

Giles looked at Spike. "As much as I hate to admit it Spike's right. We're not going to be any good for her if we're exhausted."

Buffy looked at them about to make her point when something caught her eye. Something very weird, even by Sunnydale standards. She watched as a man came down wearing patriotic red and blue tights with a cape on his back and an S on the chest of it. She turned to Giles and Spike and saw them both dumbfounded. She watched him land and did the first thing that came to her. She laughed at him.

Giles quietly swallowed he knew there was something important they missed over the Summer they forgot to tell Buffy about Superman. "Buffy, I don't think that's the best idea."

Buffy looked at her watcher. "Oh please what's he going to do attack me with his little red booties?"

The man's eyes rose.

Spike let out a quiet gulp. "Seriously pet not a good idea."

Buffy just pointed at him don't get her wrong he's cute but look at him he looks ridiculous. "Oh my god, is that what I think it is?"

Giles rolled his eyes. "Buffy!"

Buffy shakes her head she said still laughing. "No, I want to know who thought it would be a good idea to wear underwear on the outside."

Superman looked at her. "My mother made me this…" Yeah that's not going to win the argument with the blond girl.

At that point Buffy lost the little control she had left and doubled over, the fact that she's still on her feet baffled her. Spike rolled his eyes and got closer to her and slowly whispered into her ear. Buffy stopped laughing as Spike told her about the big apocalypse she missed while she was dead.

Buffy turned to the vampire almost numb. "A planet… what do you mean a planet... he lifted a…. I mean the whole planet… I just… don't you think you should have told me about that sooner! A guy that can throw entire planets back into space… that's something you could have mentioned about when I was... away."

Buffy turned to him almost nervous. She hopes she didn't burn any bridges. "So about earlier?"

"You have your opinion, you're entitled to it." Superman assured her, besides he's not a fan of the underwear either. They're uncomfortable "Even if you look ridiculous in that top"

"Hey!" Buffy countered upset. She loved her white top.

Superman looked at them and pulled out a picture as the three took a defensive stance. "I was just wondering if any of you had seen this teenager."

Buffy looked at the boy. "Oh wow it's like a miniature you. But no haven't seen him."

Superman turned to the English men. "How about the two of you?"

Spike looked at the picture. "No, don't recognize the boy."

Giles looked at it. "I do, he was at the magic shop earlier today."

Superman let out a smile in relief he's finally found him. "Thank you"

Buffy looked at him. "Do you need help?"

Superman shook his head. "No, he's dangerous as he is right now, he can take out the three of you with his pinky."

Buffy looked at him. "Hey! Wait a minute, look, about earlier."

Superman could only smile. "Don't worry about it. Besides if I was going to attack anyone it would be the Billy Idol wanna be."

Spike's eyes rose as Superman took off. "Hey, what did I do?"

Buffy just watched in awe as a man flew. "Wow, I mean… wow."

Spike looked at her. "He's not that impressive, he wears lifts, come on slayer, got a Niblet to save."

* * *

Dawn sat back in the truck with Alex. This night played out nothing like she thought it would. Justin was nice but she found herself more drawn to the new guy. It was like a mix of Spike with his temper and Xander's goofiness. She smiled looking at him.

Alex looked at her with a smile. He just thought she was another girl to manipulate until he got fed up and left, he's did it before. He listened to her talk about her sister and how crazy she drives her.

Dawn looked at him and saw the jacket still on her. "You want this back?"

Alex shook his head. "Nah. Cold doesn't really bother me."

Dawn simply smiled amused. "What are you, Superman?"

Alex looked at her and laughed. "No, just on my brother's side."

After a couple minutes in an awkward silence he leaned in for a kiss. Dawn chickens out at the last second and looks down at the radio. "Hey, does this work?" She turns on the radio. Nothing.

Alex looked at her. "You gotta turn the ignition."

He turns the key in the ignition, activating the electrical system. The radio flares to life. Something achingly romantic plays, like Johnny and Santo's "Sleep Walk".

Dawn smiled. "I love this one."

Alex looked at her. "Another thing we have in common." Alex gently strokes her hair, traces his fingers down her neck. Dawn leans in surprised at the warmth in his touch. "You're shaking."

"It's... cold." Dawn replied.

Alex moved closer. "Do you want to go?"

Dawn shook her head. "No, I just... you know, what do you expect"

"Shhh." He puts a finger to her lips, gently traces them. "I just... want to do this..." He leans in and kisses her softly. It's an electric moment. Dawn sighs, melting into him as the tender kiss goes on and on...

Dawn came up for breath dazed. "Shiver me timbers."

"What?" Alex asked.

Dawn shook her head. "Uh, nothing, just... wow."

Alex looked at her surprised as it sunk in. "Oh my God. That was your first."

"Wha -no!" Dawn tried to defend herself.

Alex shook his head and laughed in disbelief. "It was! That was your first kiss."

Dawn denied it, he can't know. "I've been kissed before. I kiss all the time. Not that I'm a kiss slut, but, you know, I'm just saying with the lips and the pressing together and stuff - hey, expert here.

Alex stares at her with a wry grin. Dawn cracks. "Okay, it was my first kiss, all  
right! I know, I suck! My lips are dry and my tongue's all horrible and sticky and I'm pretty sure I drooled so just tell me how awful it was and-"

Alex kisses her softly, cutting her off. "It was mine too and as far as I'm concerned it was perfect."

Dawn melts under his lips. Kissage, round two.

* * *

Alex smiled and his hands started drifting for second until Dawn smacked it away. He looked at her almost regretful. "Sorry, it's just… aw, you suck."

"Hey!" Dawn complained.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Not you." He put his hand out. "Do you trust me?"

Dawn smiled and took it. "Yes" Before she could react they were outside and Justin and Zack each were draining Janice through her neck while Christine held her wrist to her teeth draining the life out of her and letting out a moan from the taste.

"Let her go!" Alex ordered but in a moment all three were off her and on the floor about ten feet away. Alex looked at Janice. "Are you alright?"

"They bit me! Those jerks bit me!" Janice shouted.

"Like you weren't begging for it." Zach countered as the vampires got to their feet.

Alex looked at the three. "You ruined something big for me. And believe me you don't want to cross me right now. Walk away… dead things."

Zack glared at him and just walked up not flinching once and started poking him. "Oh please you're like 15 what are you going to…"

Alex just put his hand up and snatched him by the throat. Alex smiled a smile that freaked Zack out as he slugged him with an uppercut with such force that Zack just disappeared.

Justin looked around but didn't see a trace of his friend. If he'd killed Zack there would be dust. "Where'd he go… where the hell did he go?"

"Orbit" Alex answered bluntly as Dawn's eyes widened. "He went into Orbit at Mach 5." He looked at Justin and Catherine as Janice fainted. "Now we can do this the easy way or…" All the cars at make out lane open showing another eight vamps.

Justin and Catherine smile. "What were our choices again?"

* * *

Spike walked down and saw Dawn, well they found her, she has a bit of the boys scent so this should be interesting. "This a private game, or can anyone have a go?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Oh joy, big brother's here."

Spike looked up as Superman flew down and Buffy came out.

Superman looked at the facts. Girl wearing his jacket. The ring on his finger, yeah this isn't rocket science. "Conner, were you parking, parking with a girl."

The red k drugged Conner Kent let out a smile. "Well I didn't know she surrounds herself with dead people… Clark."

"Living dead." Justin replied.

Clark, Buffy, Conner, Dawn, Spike, and Giles all turn and reply. "Shut up."

Buffy turned to Dawn. Her little sister is growing up. This is going to be a pain in the ass. "So you were parking with a boy you just met."

Dawn glared at her. "I'm not the only one in my family to be reckless with a vampire."

Buffy looked at her sister. "That was different and you know it."

Conner had his own smile as he turned to Clark. "Besides Mr. Hero, when you were my age didn't your dad find Alicia, in her panties, in your bed, the day you met her."

Clark's eyes simply rose as he clenched his fist. How effective was the Smallville high rumor mill? "No when I was your age I mostly just slept because I was 1."

Dawn turned to him intrigued. There's something she never thought they'd have in common. "You're 1."

Connor shrugged. "I'm big for my age." He turned back to Clark. "But since we're sharing secrets, ladies and gentlemen boys and girls children of all ages I present to you Superman AKA Clark Kent, raised and currently living in the Kent Farm in Smallville Kansas, employed by the Daily Planet."

Clark looked at him. "If you want to tell my secret Conner do it, I don't care. But I'm not letting you leave here with that ring on. You know what it does to us."

Conner simply traced his finger through it. "Yeah, it makes me feel better. After you took the last thing from me to take."

Clark looked at him. "I didn't take anything from you... and you know I would have stopped it if I knew…"

One of the vampires looked at the two. "Excuse me!"

Clark and Conner turn around and instantly vaporize the vampire with four blasts of heat vision.

Conner looked at Clark. "Why are you even here Clark?"

Clark looked at him like it should have been obvious. "Because I'm your big brother, and you're in trouble Conner. And when you're twenty and I'm forty five I'll still be your big brother and I'll still be there when you get in trouble."

Conner clenched his fists ready to come to blows with him.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry but did anyone come here just for the sake of making out." A young couple awkwardly raises their hands. "Aw that's sweet. You run." The couple takes off. She points at a vampire. "You scream!"

Conner tackles Clark to the ground and unloads on him with a flurry of punches. To his surprise Clark doesn't even defend himself. "Fight back!" He punches him so hard blood pours from Clark's mouth.

Clark watches a vampire rush Buffy but Buffy easily stakes it, guess he found the slayer. So it's not Jor El crazy talk. He watched her move and even phoning in a fight it's still a hell of a fight. He watches Giles fight two and dusts one with heat vision making it a fair fight.

Conner kept punching eventually making a hole with his swings. "Fight back damn it." He threw Superman against a car and made a fist with his other hand. Clark took the opportunity to catch his fist. He pushed Connor's hand back and the ring practically exploded on a car door. A red flash coursed through Conner's eyes for a moment… and then he went back to punching Clark.

Spike looked at the scene after dusting the vampires. "Wasn't exactly a Brady moment was it."

Buffy ran up to him. But a heat vision blast at her feet from Conner stopped her.

"Stay out of this!" Conner warned.

It did however distract the younger kryptonian and give Clark the time to push Conner off him off. Clark ran in a blur and got Conner in a choke hold.

Buffy looked at the man of steel. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to take him to who he's really mad at. I'll be back to see you in an hour or two." Clark replied as he flew into the sky dragging Conner with him.

Dawn looked at the sky with a smile her first kiss had come from a teenage Superman.

* * *

Clark cleared the western coast and quickly returned to Smallville. He dropped Conner in a cemetery and quickly landed next to him. Conner got up and looked at the grave with disgust. He ran up and saw the grave belonging to Lutessa 'Lena' Luthor and punched the top corner of it clean off as he breaks the tombstone piece by piece and shouts in fury. "How dare you leave me! You send me away and then you go and die and leave me here alone!" Conner finally starts breaking down with tears crumbling next to the pieces of Tess' tombstone. "Please come back! I need you! Please come back!"

Clark pulled him into a hug. "It wasn't your fault Conner. It's Ok to be angry at her for leaving you like that."

"She was nearly killed by Lionel because he couldn't find me. She sacrificed herself to protect me from Lex." Conner replied. Nice words but just words.

Clark shook his head. "Tess made her choice Conner. She chose to confront Lex alone and no one could have talked her out of it. She was a hero. Always remember that and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise." Conner let out a small smile before he disappeared in a blur. "Conner?"

Clark turned around and saw Conner plant a new tombstone in. His eyes heated up as he made a new headstone for her.

Conner backed up looking at his work. "So, too poor should we have Ollie make a new one."

Clark shook his head. "No, it looks great."

"Sop sucking up." Conner replied.

"No, it really does." Clark replied looking at the new tombstone. 'Tess Mercer: Beloved Sister, She saved the world.'

"We'll get proof that Lex did it. I promise." Clark replied.

* * *

Giles heard a knock on the door and quickly opened it seeing Superman and Conner as he called him earlier. He held the door open for them. "I take it you have questions about the creatures you saw earlier?"

Clark shook his head and came in with Conner, the younger going into the kitchen. "Not really, vampires, Buffy's the slayer, my father gave me a crash course on demons so I wasn't foolish enough to send a vampire to jail."

Giles nodded. "Oh, then the question becomes why are you here?"

Clark looked at him. "Conner said a lot about me when the ring was on."

Buffy walked in hearing that. "Don't worry, your secret stays with us, Clark."

Clark simply nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

Dawn looked in and saw them talking from the kitchen. "What do you think they're talking about?"

"Buffy agreed not tot tell the world Clark's secret." Conner informed her. "Super hearing"

Dawn nodded. "Oh, so, is it Alex, or Conner?"

"Both honestly" Conner replied. "That red ring it lets out the worst parts of me all of Lex's parts. But the most of the time I prefer Conner, Conner Kent."

"Dawn Summers" The girl replied. "So, how are you only 1?"

Conner let out an empty laugh. "This body none of it's real, none of it's mine. I'm not real, I'm just a deformed clone of Lex, but thankfully with some of Clark so I wouldn't die in a week, or turn into a murdering bastard like he is." If Clark didn't swear they'd get Lex he'd lobotomize Luthor where they stood.

Dawn looks at him. "I'm eighteen months I'm older then you." She stuck her tongue out at him."

Conner pointed at her, "Yeah, by like six months. How is that by the way?"

Dawn looked at him. "Well a lot like you actually. A bunch of people made me out of green energy and bits of Buffy."

Conner smiled at that. "Never would have had that much in common."

Dawn smiled and took his hand. "World's full of surprises."

Conner looked at her. "Are you in trouble with your sister?"

Dawn shook her head almost like she was disappointed. "No, she'll just pass it off on Giles whom doesn't actually have a way to punish me."

"Lucky you..." Was all Conner could get out before round three started.

* * *

Clark looked into the kitchen. "They're at it again."

Buffy looked into the kitchen to see the make out session. "It's not often Dawn finds someone that speaks to her on her level."

Giles nodded if they hadn't sneaked out all night he'd be thrilled Dawn found someone she could open up to."Still, we can't ignore this kind of behavior. Something has to be done before it spins out of control."

Buffy nodded. "You're right… I'm glad you're here to sort it out. Don't be too hard on her, okay?"

Buffy went to go upstairs but Clark's arm grabbed her. "And you are Dawn's sister, the words would have much more impact coming from you."

Buffy looked at Clark pleadingly. "Oh come on, I don't know how to be tough disciplinarian gal. Can't you do it? I hear people listen to Superman."

Clark looked at her. "Well if this stays between us no… I've never done this before it was always Tess and Emil that ran discipline. But now Tess is gone and Emil has buried himself in his work out of grief so it falls on me and I have no idea what I'm doing. So believe me, you can't do any worse then me."

Buffy looked at him and saw Giles took the moment to leave. "Alright, let's try to be grown ups. Scary thought."

* * *

Clark and Buffy walk in and Buffy lets out a whistle as Dawn and Conner break apart.

Conner looks at his brother. "Let me guess you're not angry at me just disappointed."

Clark rose an eye to that. "Yeah I'm disappointed. I was worried when you left. I was angry when you didn't check in. And I was blindingly furious when you disappeared for a month and a string of bank robberies showed up from Kansas to California leaving a coookie crumb trail for Lex."

"It was the red kryptonite." Conner pointed out.

Clark looked at him. "Which you chose to put on. Why didn't you just come to me Conner."

"Because I couldn't." The kryptonian teen replied. "You've been burying yourself in work since Lois left and don't even act like it's not true. Every time the world became too much you hid behind that S."

Clark frowned. He did this when Lois disappeared before. When she left him he just did the same thing. He just didn't how badly it affected Conner to have him shut him out. "I'm sorry, I should have seen it coming. But what you did was still wrong."

Conner looked at him. "What are you going to do ground me?"

"Yeah" Clark answered easily enough realizing he has to cut down on his time as Supoerman, he spent three hours playing umpire in a little league game before Conner ran off, anything to avoid returning to Clark Kent outside of the Daily Planet. "For the next two weeks when you're not at school or watchtower you'll be on the farm doing chores… without your powers."

Conner smiled. "And if I ignore that."

"I'll call Zee." Clark warned. And that would be two full weeks without his powers at all time. "Also from four to six you will have hand to hand lessons in watchtower with Diana."

"Fair enough." Conner replied.

"Let's make it Bruce for training since you seem so calm about it." Clark decided.

"Oh, come on." Conner groaned and shouted. Now it felt like he was being punished.

* * *

Dawn looked at her sister. "This the part where you tell me you're not angry, just disappointed?"

Buffy nodded. "Pretty much. Except I'm quite pissed off at you for lying to me and trying to stay out all night in Sunnydale."

"You're the one who wanted me to live remember." Dawn pointed out. Is it bad that she's actually a little happy Buffy is coming down on her.

"Don't go there." Buffy warned. She wanted her to live not deliberately risk throwing her life away for an up all night adventure on the hellmouth.

Buffy looked at her. "The punishment for Conner seems pretty good for you. The next two weeks during the day where it's sunny out you are either here, school, at the magic box helping Giles, or learning how to fight with me."

Dawn let out a quiet gulp. "OK, it's not like I didn't watch you for years and learn a thing or two."

"And at night you're patrolling with me and Spike. I can't stop you from acting like an idiot. But I can make sure you can at least take care of yourself." Buffy finished.

Dawn looked at her she's grounded, from Buffy, she never saw this coming. "Can I see Conner again?"

Clark took a moment those two are going to be a handful. "That's up to Buffy."

Buffy looked at them after the Summer she's had. Dawn could use a friend besides at her age she was just meeting Angel and smooching as her sister pointed out. "It's OK with me."

Clark nodded. "It's fine with me just not till they serve their time."

Buffy nodded in agreement. "Yeah do the time then you can see each other.

Buffy and Dawn see the Kents out, unknown to Clark and Buffy the younger couple had slipped each others email addresses as well.

* * *

To: Sboy3411

From: Keygirl 15

Subject: This is hell!

I thought it would be nice to have Buffy lecture me but everything still hurts from earlier today. Buffy and Spike put me through the ringer. To think there was a time I wanted Spike to throw me down to the ground. Add to the fun Giles had me catalogue newt eyes and multiple scales and eyes balls. He's a ludite and a sadist all at the same time. Anyway hope to see you soon in two weeks I already miss you. But glad you can't see me sore and slimey.

Dawn

* * *

To: Sboy3411

From: Keygirl 15

Subject: Why are there no unsend buttons!

Seriously what kind of internet connection in Kansas doesn't allow for an unsend button. Ignore that part about Spike throwing me to the ground or suffer the wrath of a slayer and two witches.

Dawn

* * *

To: Keygirl 15

From: Sboy3411

Subject: Re: This is hell!

No shame liking someone older. I kidnapped Clark's then fiancé last year which is a story you don't get to hear yet. You think you've got it bad. Buffy will pull her punches because you're her sister. I think Bruce enjoys the fact that I heal. Not to mention I still have chores when Bruce is done torturing me for the day. Counting the days to see you again.

Conner

* * *

To: Sboy3411

From: Keygirl 15

Subject: Fiance?

Superman has a fiancé? It's that Amazon girl isn't it. And thank god for Willow for encrypted emails.

Dawn

* * *

To: Keygirl 15

From: Sboy3411

Subject: Re: Fiance?

Don't forget Chloe from this end. And no it's not Wonder Woman it was a human. They tried to get married and it fell through thanks to the apocalypse last year. They went on their honeymoon anyway but something horrible happened during it and she gave him the same the world needs you more blah blah blah speech she did before. She's now dating her boss' nephew in Cairo. And he's a broken art of a sad human being.

* * *

To: Sboy3411

From: Keygirl 15

Subject: Re: Re: Fiance?

Tough break but at least she didn't say we could always be friends. Reminds me of Buffy's last boyfriend GI Jackass. At least this girl wasn't going. 'You should have come grieve to me about your dying family.' If I knew where he was going I would have had Angel kick his ass again. Clark's invulnerable he'll bounce back. Hope to talk to you again soon.

Dawn

* * *

To: Keygirl 15

From: Sboy3411

Subject: I got beat by a girl.

Coming to the ending days of my punishment. They had Superman's sidekick, and I use that word loosely since Clark won't let me patrol, go against Batman's sidekick. Would have been nice if they told me Babs was an Olympic level gymnast. I actually had bruises after the blue kryptonite came off. How's it going on your end.

* * *

To: Sboy3411

From: Keygirl 15

Subject: Re:I got beat by a girl.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

* * *

To: Sboy3411

From: Keygirl 15

Subject: Re:I got beat by a girl.

Seriously though girls are tougher then boys where I'm from so I'm used to it. Just keep at it and you'll be able to beat Clark in a fight. Also on this end it's going great. I dusted my first vampire. Admittedly I got the lungs twice first but Buffy missed too and dust is still dust. Buffy's training me and pushing me further and stronger each day. Giles seems almost in glee when she comes down on me. I'm going to kill him... or maybe torture him by child proofing his cell phone. Keep up training Conner even Superman can't be everywhere at once and it will be that much quicker to next week.

Dawn

* * *

To: Sboy3411

From: Keygirl 15

Subject: What the %*&$

That's the only words I can use to describe the past couple days. I meant to email you earlier this week but my hand to god on my mother's grave I broke into song about how you'll be mine before I could hit the send button and me breaking into song ends up was just a minor thing in the grand scheme of things. Willow was a smug bitch, ends up Buffy wasn't in hell, she went up to heaven, they pulled her out of heaven. I've been numbed by that for the past three days. All of Buffy's clashing emotions were because she was in paradise and we took her out of it. And what bugs me the most, I don't feel guilty about it. I'm glad they pulled my sister out of heaven. So what does that make me?

Could you write back ASAP

* * *

To: Keygirl 15

From: Sboy3411

Subject: Re: What the #%

I would superspeed there right now if Bruce wasn't watching me with a blue handcuff strapped to my wrist. But I'll tell you what it makes you. It makes you someone who loves your sister very much and didn't want to lose her yet. I lost Tess and if there was a way to bring her back. I would. It just makes you human and I think I know of someone who can help Buffy. If you're interested. Please write back ASAP

* * *

To: Sboy3411

From: Keygirl 15

Subject: Re: Re: What the %*&$

I'm desperate. Please do it.

* * *

Buffy sat at her window watching the lights go out and still feeling numb. She let out a sigh. "Dawn told Conner, Conner told you."

Clark simply nodded looking at her room in Superman gear. "Can I come in."

"It's a free country." Buffy replied but opened the window.

Clark flew into the room.

Buffy looked at him. "You know there's nothing you can do to help me right?"

"I can listen. I can be a neutral third ear." Clark offered.

Buffy shook her head. "It just felt like it was my time. I was at peace when I was gone and maybe you were supposed to replace me… god I don't even know what I'm saying anymore."

"It's alright." Clark assured her.

Buffy shook her head. "It's really not. I appreciate it you coming out but you don't know what it's like." She went for the door.

Clark looked at her. "You're surrounded by this bright light, and you don't know how or even why but you know, you just know everything's going to be alright."

Buffy stopped in her tracks and frowned. "Yeah, how did you know? Wait, did you die?"

"Three times" Clark answered her.

Buffy looked at him upset. "That was my thing, stop stealing my things! First saving the world now this!"

Clark looked at her. "OK, sorry."

Buffy looked at him. "Does this feeling of nothing ever go away?"

Clark nodded. "I was gone only... you know for a couple minutes. I still felt it for a week. But it will get better, the next time I didn't even want to go because I knew the world needed me more."

Buffy looked at him. "I was gone for a lot longer. I miss it so much."

Clark simply nodded knowing the feeling he misses it too, especially talking to his dad. Just not as much as he used to. "It will get better, you just gotta give it some time. Besides, I know you really want to be here."

Buffy simply tilted her head. "And how do you know that?"

"Because even if you phoned it in. You still ran to save Dawn." Clark responded.

Buffy looked at him a bit before giving a small trace of something that might have been a genuine smile. "Do you have like a phone number I can call? You're like the Dr Phil of slayers, I could use an unbiased ear."

Clark smiled and wrote down two phone numbers. "Home, work is there anything else I can do tonight?"

Buffy shook her head. "No you've done enough. Thank you."

Buffy smiled watching him fly out the window. "So cool" World would probably have to end for her to do something like that.

* * *

Conner came downstairs and saw Clark walking into the house with a smile. "So, how did it go."

Clark moved in a blur switching to a red shirt and jeans. "She's been through a lot, it's not going to be an overnight fix, but I think she'll be OK eventually."

Conner watched Clark go upstairs as his phone's text went off.

**Keygirl 15: **What did your brother say to my sister?

**Sboy3411: **I don't know why?

**Keygirl 15: **It's like she's a bit happy which is much more then she's been recently, so thanks for asking him to talk to her.

**Sboy3411: **Same here I haven't seen Clark so happy in months. So, how are you doing?

**Keygirl 15: **Much better now that Buffy seems to be doing better. I'm counting down till Friday so I can see you in person again.

**Sboy3411: **Like wise, so any crazy ideas for when I get there.

**Keygirl 15: **Just one.

**Sboy3411: **Oh yeah what's that?

Conner took a drink as Dawn replied.

**Keygirl 15: **I want to hook your brother up with my sister.

Conner spit up quite the impressive fountain of soda that actually went through the ceiling. Huh, he does have Superbreath.

"Conner are you OK down here."

Conner quickly looked around. "Ah yeah wrong pipe I'll fix the ceiling in the morning.

**Sboy3411: **Are you insane?

**Keygirl 15: **Think about it. They've made each other happy. Buffy is just happier when her boyfriends are super powered and can handle themselves. Also Buffy knows how important it is to have a life outside of your calling and not to be buried by it. They'd be good together assuming she's not a rebound.

**Sboy3411: **I just don't know Dawn.

**Keygirl 15: **Why not?

**Sboy3411: **As far as Clark is concerned Lois was his destiny and fate. Which for the record is stupid and idiotic considering one of our powers is to change destiny. So why not his own?

**Keygirl 15: **See, all the reason to get him away from thinking of the ex.

**Sboy3411: **What makes you think those two would even work?

**Keygirl 15: **How could you think they wouldn't? Big destinies, champions that have saved the world. But both of them need lives outside of being a super hero I think they'd be good for each other. Buffy knows how important it is to have a life outside of the cape. It's probably why she survived for five years when a slayer's life expectancy is 2 months to two years. I think they'd be good for each other.

**Sboy3411: **And if they're too good for each other what happens to us?

**Keygirl 15: **We become the Brady Bunch, look at the way the oldest kids looked at each other in later years and tell me nothing happened. So are you in or out?

Conner looked at his phone with a smile at Dawn's. At the end of the day he wants Clark to be happy if that has changed from Lois so be it. He went back to phone and responded.

**Sboy3411:** "OK, I'm in Marcia."

* * *

Author Notes

Thanks for the reviews last chapter.


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